Every once in a while I get to a place of comfort, a place where everything feels good, feels right, it's mostly a good place. However, it's also a place that makes the anxiety creep up in the back of my brain every now and again and put me on full alert. Usually when I'm in this place it becomes abundantly clear that this is just a resting area. That it's just a pause in life giving me a moment or two to recharge and get ready for the next big thing. As usual, when I see that next big thing coming around the corner, I tend to try to look the other way, to pretend I didn't see it and inevitably that thing that I'm trying to avoid is looking me right in the face and to ignore it would be near impossible. Usually that next big thing is another change in my life that God is calling me to make. Not that I don't want to do what pleases God, I do, but oooo change is so hard. Especially when it's something that doesn't feel to me,  like it needs to be changed. However, I know that "tap on the shoulder", that "whisper in my ear" that tells me otherwise. I've also discovered, this time, as with many other times, He doesn't stop at the gentle tap or the whisper, sometimes He screams it at me loud and clear so that I cannot deny Him, so I cannot pretend I don't know what He's telling me.

Here's the kicker though, I know that if I just surrender and do what He's asking, He will bless me for it. He will use me in new and exciting ways. He will reveal Himself to me in ways I've not seen before. I so want that!! So if that is the case why does it feel like I need someone to pry my fingers away from that thing I'm hanging onto so tightly?

I've got lots of praying to do, and lots of listening to do so I know exactly what this looks like for me in His eyes. Now, where did I leave that white flag of mine?

A few things I've encountered this week have made me think quite a bit about marriage. I have been blessed with a good marriage, one that functions like a well oiled machine. I have over the years come to learn that the way our relationship functions is not the norm. At this point in my life I can attest that to God working in our lives, however, there was a time when God was not first in our lives and yet our marriage still worked so well. On the flip side though, there are people I know who very much put God first in their lives and yet, struggle with some of the challenges that marriage bring. I don't have all the answers, but I did make an observation today.

I read something today that talked about how single people are in search of that perfect mate, that perfect someone to fulfill all their needs. The person that is going to love them for who they are and accept them with all their flaws and idiosyncrasies, yet their standards are such that the person they are looking for can't be themselves and have flaws and idiosyncrasies of their own.

In my opinion, marriage shouldn't be about finding someone who will be the perfect mate to fulfill YOUR needs, marriage should be about finding someone whom you love so much that you want to spend your life trying to fulfill THEIR needs. Marriage should be about wanting to do what it takes to make the other person happy. If both spouses are doing this, if both spouses are loving each other enough to make themselves second and their spouse first, then one would think that it would be a relationship that works.

I am the first to admit that I am a selfish person, yet I take great joy and pleasure in doing things that make my husband happy. Even simple silly things like grabbing a chocolate bar for him when I'm in the check out line cause I know it will make him happy. There are things that I also give up or don't do because I know that it would not make him happy. In doing so though, I don't feel as though I'm giving up or compromising my wants or needs, nor do I feel cheated. I'm happy to do these things because it gives me great joy to fulfill his needs/wants and to make him happy. In turn he does the same for me, it humbles me greatly to think of and realize all that he does and all that he gives up to be the husband I need him to be.

In doing this, in giving up and sacrificing and in putting the other first, we have built a beautiful relationship that is exactly what God had intended. A relationship where neither of us put ourselves first, where we think of the other before ourselves. A relationship where because we are fulfilling the others needs/wants, we find ourselves fulfilled as well. A relationship where two truly have become one.

Jesus showed us how to love, and He did it be serving others, by making sacrifices even unto death for us. Jesus didn't come into this world to see if He could find someone who would fulfill His needs, He came so He could fulfill ours. In turn those that love the Lord find themselves trying to live their lives in a way that pleases Him. We, the Church are, after all, the Bride of Christ.

Living a life of faith as I do, I always try to look back at things that I've gone through in my life, or the things that have affected my life, especially the difficult things and most always I can see where God has used what I went through in one way or another for His Glory.

Today is a day that most Americans reflect back on the terrible tragedy of 9/11/2001 when terrorists came into our country and changed peoples lives forever. I don't know anyone personally that lost a loved one that horrific day, and my heart goes out to those families whose lives were impacted directly by those attacks. However, being an American whose country was violated I try to see how God has used this for His glory and I see a country that raises their flags prouder than they did before the attacks. Our US Anthem has greater meaning to more people than it did before. Americans who stand in unity for the pride of their country.

On this day 11 years ago, hero's stepped forward in a big way. God used His people to make a difference in peoples lives. Not only do we have a renewed and greater respect for our firefighters and police officers because of the bravery they showed on this day, but also a glimpse into how common every day people come together in a time of crisis. I'm reminded of the passengers on flight 93 that boldly stepped forward and put their lives 2nd and the lives of others first. The story of that flight and the courageous things that took place have forever impacted the lives of others.

I'm sure there are many, many other stories that have been and could be shared by countless other people as to ways that through this horrific tragedy a blessing was brought forth.

Does God cause bad things like this to happen, no, but when they do, He uses them to bring forth His Glory and to show His abounding grace and mercy. You just have to be willing to look for them.