Unforgiveness is a sin. I know this. I also know that unforgiveness keeps me a prisoner, not the person I'm not forgiving. What if the person you're having a hard time forgiving isn't a person......it's God. How can it be God? God doesn't do anything wrong, how could it be He that I need to forgive? It doesn't make sense to me either, but when I think of this pain I have, it always comes back to the fact that God let it happen. I totally understand that we live in a sinful world and that the things that happen are a product of the sin. I also understand that God was there when it happened. I know that God works all things for the good of those who love Him. I know all this stuff. I also know the pain that this has caused my daughter and my family. I also know that my God is a powerful, awesome God that can stop anything, can make anything happen or not happen.

Today as I was reading my book it talked about forgiveness, and this all popped into my head. So I opened my mouth and said I forgive the person that was the cause of all this, and I felt nothing. I've forgiven him long ago, but yet I have all this anger and frustration and bitterness about it and again I find myself asking God why He let it happen.

Maybe this isn't about forgiveness, maybe it's about trust, trusting that God knows what He's doing. That He has a plan for all of this and I'm just not seeing it. Huh; maybe that's what this is about. The problem is, I've no clue how to get to that point. Sigh. This is not an easy journey.....