So last year was just a super hard year for me. I had so much going on and taking care of my physical health pretty much took a back seat.
I'm back to a place where I'm disgustingly aware of how much I've let myself go physically. It's not a vain thing by any means, it's truly how lousy I feel. Lets face it, breathing and tying shoes simultaneously would be a very welcome thing. My clothing that I love just doesn't fit right, and, yes, I also don't care to much for how I'm looking these days.
The last couple weeks I just haven't felt right. I've been so unbelievably tired that I could, and have nap all day long after sleeping in, and then go to bed early and wake up tired and want to do it all again. My balance has been a bit "off" lately, which I just assumed was my vertigo rearing it's ugly head. Annoying headaches that just seem to hang on. I've also been so incredibly thirsty lately that nothing seems to sate it, and making lots of extra trips to the bathroom. Today brought a new symptom though. I was holding one of my beautiful granddaughters, and had to set her down abruptly because I was about to lose the contents of my stomach. No warning, just the instantaneous need to vomit.
You see, I'm a type 2 diabetic and have been for years. I was really good at taking care of it, but then, the troubles of the last year really derailed me. Other than the weight I've gained I've not given it much thought other than a bit of the guilt that sets in when I'm eating things I shouldn't be. I know the dangers of not taking care of my diabetes, but wasn't aware of this type of thing occurring.
So after taking my blood sugar tonight, which I've not had to do on a regular basis, and being a bit alarmed by the 286 staring at me on my meter, I went to the store to get some food that I could eat. While there, I walked past the watermelon, the cakes, the cookies, and most devastatingly, the ice cream. I LOVE ice cream. No more 1/2 pints of my favorites that I eat in one sitting 2 or 3 nights a week.
Yes yes, I know, I can treat myself occasionally, however, I know myself too well. One little bite, of anything naughty and delicious and I become obsessed. One is never enough. So tonight I mourned the loss of ice cream. I mourned the joy of eating the creamy cold sweetness. I could say it's not fair, but I brought this all on myself with my poor eating habits and the amount of pure sugar I put in my body for most of my life.
Don't do what I did, don't find yourself mourning ice cream years down the road. Type 2 can be avoided if you practice moderation and good eating habits.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to throw my temper tantrum about having to eat good. sigh.
