Costa Rica as best I can

I'm home! At least physically; mentally, emotionally and spiritually I'm screaming to be back there. I will start by telling you that if I wrote 10,000 words here you would never fully understand what it is like at Hogar De Vida unless you experienced it yourself. The closest explanation that was ever given to me was that it's like a blanket of God lays over that place and yet some how that seems to fall too short.

I'm amazed at how much can happen in a short week. The days just crept by but the week itself went so fast. The friendships and bonds that were woven into something beautiful in that short time will never break. I woke up this morning in my own bed next to the most amazing man in the world and yet a part of me missed rolling over and hearing "good morning Miss Lisa" from Katie. I missed seeing Susan all snuggled up in a hoodie and blanket spending quiet time with the Lord. I missed the glow of Rachel as she returned from the Rancho with her prayer blanket. The coffee that Sue had all prepared waiting for us. There's little things from each team member that became a comforting normal each day that I missed this morning.

However, what I missed most about this morning, was that ever present feeling that my God is watching over me and that He is truly in my waking up and in my lying down. That feeling as though his hand is over mine as I pull back the blankets and set my feet on the floor. The unrelenting yearning that there is nothing more important that I need to do other than to just spend time with Him and the feeling that no matter what I do, be it immersed in His word, face on the ground in prayer, spending time with the children or painting the mural, it would be spending time with Him. Nothing I did down there was separate from my God, EVERYTHING was of Him. It wasn't a conscious decision so much as it just was.

There were lots of things that God did while I was there, yes we painted a mural and yes we played with children and did many other things, but where the most work was done was in my heart and in my relationship with my Lord. There were things that He did that if I had not decided to be obedient in all things and embrace this trip that I would have missed out on.

 My husband in his awesomeness sent me down with about 5 different sealed envelopes. Each one labeled with a "open if you...." message. This is the only one that I did not open. It wasn't that there were no big bugs to be seen, on the contrary, big bugs and scorpions. However, God in his mercy protected me from my fear of bugs and each time put someone who wasn't afraid between me and the bug to kill it before I ever saw it. I was sad not to open this one to see what clever witty saying he wrote and his encouragement for me, but I was totally okay with not seeing the bugs. Another way that God showed His love for me, that He cares about the little things and the big things.

Another fear of mine was ziplining. I am not a fan of heights in the least and I won't lie to you, this was way out of my comfort zone and I did it with great trepidation. Each platform was a step in faith, (there were 12) as I sat and leaned back and zoomed over the tree tops. If ever there was a reason to recite every Bible verse you've ever dedicated to memory this was it. (I think I even threw in a "God is good, God is great and we thank Him for this food LOL) However, in the end, my God was faithful and kept me safe. A side note, the hanging upside down line was the easiest and best one for me. Not sure why, but I was the least afraid on this one.

If I had to sum up what I learned in this trip in one main lesson, it would be this: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your path. Proverbs 3:5-6. I spent time on my knees this week in repentance for not trusting in Him to make straight my path, for leaning on my own understanding. How could I have ever doubted Him?

 Although I know there are probably a few who are itching to throw out that "I told you so", I ask you to pause and ask yourself if I could've known all this without having been there myself? To that I can now answer an emphatic "not on your life!" So I encourage all that have considered going, to seriously pray about it and if God gives the blessing to you, go, it will be an experience you never forget and one that will forever change you.

Surrender

Costa Rica is a mere 3 days away. I'm not nearly as anxious as I thought I would be at this point. I truly believe that it is the Peace that surpasses all understanding that is causing it.

There are a few minor details to finish up in the next 3 days but I don't feel any sense of true urgency to them. I know that everything that needs to be done before we go, will be done.

One thing that the Lord has impressed upon my heart the last couple days is that I need to be in a place of total surrender to Him and to His plans. One of the songs we sang on Sunday was You Won't Relent, I know Jesus Culture didn't write it but they sing it best in my opinion. One of the verse's goes like this: "Come be the fire inside of me, come be the flame inside my heart, come be the fire inside of me, until you and I are one."  That last line; "until you and I are one", what a complete and total place of surrender that is, when I am no longer my own, but fully His.

 I'm going to take the next couple days just to meditate on that idea, to be filled with only Him and none of my own ways, none of my own thoughts, so that what I do and experience in Costa Rica will be exactly what He has planned for me and not what I have planned for me.

So while this trip planning started in a frenzy and with stomping of feet and tantrums, in the end, I have such a peace about it all. I know that I know that I know that THIS is precisely what God has positioned me to do and I'm excited to see what His plans are. He never ceases to blow me away with what He does in my life and I have no doubt that this will be equally, if not more awesome than anything else He's done for me.

I'm super excited about the team that is going with me. I have faith that each person on our team has been positioned for just the same amount of awesomeness. We each have our own journey and our own struggles and I know that God will work in each one of us exactly the way we need it. What we experience there as a team and as individuals will forever affect our hearts, our minds and our lives and form bonds that are unbreakable.

Soon there will be a blog posted that you can follow us along on our adventures. I'll post it when I have it.

By Faith

I'm reading through the book of Hebrews and I went through chapter 11 this morning. I was struck by how many times the phrase "by faith" was used. See all those little orange highlights there? Each one says "by faith" and then goes on to explain the who, what and when of each person.

I don't know about you but sometimes I have to read things more than once for it to fully sink in. Maybe it's because Christianity and the Bible have always been in my life that I think sometimes I read these stories about people in the Bible and the true weight of it doesn't quite resonate with me because I've heard them for so long.

I learned about Noah and the ark, Moses being set in the river and Joshua and the walls of Jericho in Sunday school when I was a kid. So at this point in my life, as an adult I need to try to see their perspective in their stories. The perspective that they saw through the eyes of God. I'm not so sure that I would have fared so well had I been in their shoes.

The one story in the Bible that always sets me on edge and almost makes me a little angry with God for even suggesting such a thing is the story of Abraham and Isaac. I cannot imagine God asking someone to sacrifice their child, it just boggles my mind. Yet Abraham, BY FAITH, sets out to do just that, believing in God's ability to raise someone from the dead. I don't know that if I had been asked to do that task that I would've had enough faith to follow through.

Joshua, a warrior, someone whose fought battles is asked not to fight but to simply march around a city a bunch of times and then blow some horns. I can't imagine what went through his mind, he had to have been thinking that it was the silliest things he's ever done. How on earth is this going to win the battle of Jericho? However, BY FAITH he did as God instructed. I wonder how amazed they were by the end result.

Noah, oh my, can you imagine? I'm sure his family and all the other people who saw him building this ridiculous boat thought he had to be crazy. I imagine he probably had his doubts about himself as well. It made no sense. However, he ignored the criticisms of everyone and BY FAITH built a boat as God instructed him to.

In all this I'm struck by my own faith, I can't help but wonder how many times I should've acted BY FAITH and didn't. How many times I felt God telling me to do something that made absolutely no sense in my own head so therefore I didn't follow through. How small is my faith that I cannot live by it?

I can however, look back and see times when I have followed through on things He's asked of me that didn't seem quite so ridiculous and am blown away with how He showed up. I've seen Him do things that quite frankly make no sense in my head. He always seems so work things in such a way that I couldn't have imagined that if I tried. So if I already know all this, have experienced these things, why should I have hesitation when He asks things of me that make me uncomfortable?

I live in the world a bit too much I think, worry about what others will think, how it will look, who might criticize or think of me as crazy.  What a different place we would live in had Abraham, Noah and Joshua doubted and not done the things that God asked of them. I pray for just an ounce of their faith.

As I head off to Costa Rica here in a mere 11 days (gulp) I am looking forward to opening up my heart to Him in a way I've never done before. Praying for the courage to live by faith, to learn to trust in Him in ALL things, even the ridiculous.