Happy Birthday Mom

Tomorrow is April 19th, it would have been my Mom's 66th birthday. Our family has never made birthday's a very big deal once our kids get a bit older. Not big on classmate parties, or big sleep overs or anything like that. I think I was in my 30's and my Mom told me I was too old for presents LOL. I just reminded her she was older than me so that must hold true for her as well. So truly for many years acknowledging my Mom's birthday was usually no more than a phone call to wish her happy birthday.

So why then is the fact that tomorrow is her birthday, a day I hardly batted an eye at, beating me up so badly? I've been willing April 18th to go slowly so I don't have to get to that day that I should call her and can't. This whole not having a Mom thing is so strange. It's no secret that Mom and I didn't have the closest relationship, but we loved each other and we understood each other. The last 6 months of her life were, I think, the closest we'd ever been; we were friends finally. Up till then, I'd go weeks sometimes without talking to her. However, I always called her on her birthday.

This too shall pass, as will every other "1st" that we'll go through this first year of not having a Mom. I try to focus on the fact that she's dancing with Jesus. I doubt they actually have birthdays in heaven but I like to imagine that there is a really big celebration for her just the same.

Happy Birthday Mom, I miss you.