A few things I've encountered this week have made me think quite a bit about marriage. I have been blessed with a good marriage, one that functions like a well oiled machine. I have over the years come to learn that the way our relationship functions is not the norm. At this point in my life I can attest that to God working in our lives, however, there was a time when God was not first in our lives and yet our marriage still worked so well. On the flip side though, there are people I know who very much put God first in their lives and yet, struggle with some of the challenges that marriage bring. I don't have all the answers, but I did make an observation today.

I read something today that talked about how single people are in search of that perfect mate, that perfect someone to fulfill all their needs. The person that is going to love them for who they are and accept them with all their flaws and idiosyncrasies, yet their standards are such that the person they are looking for can't be themselves and have flaws and idiosyncrasies of their own.

In my opinion, marriage shouldn't be about finding someone who will be the perfect mate to fulfill YOUR needs, marriage should be about finding someone whom you love so much that you want to spend your life trying to fulfill THEIR needs. Marriage should be about wanting to do what it takes to make the other person happy. If both spouses are doing this, if both spouses are loving each other enough to make themselves second and their spouse first, then one would think that it would be a relationship that works.

I am the first to admit that I am a selfish person, yet I take great joy and pleasure in doing things that make my husband happy. Even simple silly things like grabbing a chocolate bar for him when I'm in the check out line cause I know it will make him happy. There are things that I also give up or don't do because I know that it would not make him happy. In doing so though, I don't feel as though I'm giving up or compromising my wants or needs, nor do I feel cheated. I'm happy to do these things because it gives me great joy to fulfill his needs/wants and to make him happy. In turn he does the same for me, it humbles me greatly to think of and realize all that he does and all that he gives up to be the husband I need him to be.

In doing this, in giving up and sacrificing and in putting the other first, we have built a beautiful relationship that is exactly what God had intended. A relationship where neither of us put ourselves first, where we think of the other before ourselves. A relationship where because we are fulfilling the others needs/wants, we find ourselves fulfilled as well. A relationship where two truly have become one.

Jesus showed us how to love, and He did it be serving others, by making sacrifices even unto death for us. Jesus didn't come into this world to see if He could find someone who would fulfill His needs, He came so He could fulfill ours. In turn those that love the Lord find themselves trying to live their lives in a way that pleases Him. We, the Church are, after all, the Bride of Christ.