This morning I had an errand to run and it was snowing and just yucky out. As I was almost to my destination an elderly woman with a red purse was riding her bike along the road. Yes, riding her bike in the snow and sleet. I said to myself, "oh that poor sweet thing, that must be miserable". She was however, going the opposite direction in which I was going so I went on my way.
About 20 min later I was headed back home and came across this sweet thing once again. This time she was walking her bike. I passed her, and of course the thought went through my head that I should offer her a ride, but thought maybe I'd spook her if I stopped or something and really, I did need to get home. However, I didn't get too much farther before I felt that nudging to go back and get her. So I did a U-turn and headed back. I pulled up in front of her and walked back to her and said "Honey, could I give you a ride some where". To which she replied, in a loud, almost yelling at me voice, "well, not if you're planning to assault me!". Oh my! I told her that of course I wasn't going to assault her and where could I take her. She told me the YMCA in Lake Geneva, which is about 7 miles or so from where we were, that's a long bike ride in the snow!
Well, telling her that I wasn't going to assault her was about the only thing I got to say to her because for the next 10-15 minutes or so she proceeded to "tell" me in that yelling voice, very descriptively with a good mix of cuss words, just how awful her family is and how she's never going there for Christmas again! How her sister stole her hat and she can just keep it cause she's not going there for Easter either. How she's going to buy a new car and not tell them about it. That her landlord is a jerk and her apartment is falling apart. At some point during her rant she even managed to sneak in an expletive about Scott Walker, I'm not really sure what that had to do with any of the other things exactly. All through this rant of hers she would ask me if I would like to have a family like that but then she'd go on without waiting for an answer. She talked so fast that spit was gathering in the corners of her mouth and just flying every where.
There were many things going through my head about 2 minutes into this ride to the Y. One of which was Oh. My. Gosh. what have I gotten myself into here? Then it was trying not to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Still, asking God when my opportunity to share His light with her was going to come. I mean why else would He ask me to do this if it wasn't to share something about Him and His awesomeness or at the very least to be His hands and feet in a spectacular way. Yet the closer we got to the Y the more it became very apparent that I was not going to be able to speak life into her at all and she was just going to continue to speak obscenities and misery at me. This was clearly a lesson to be learned.
Not only a lesson in loving the unlovely, (I'm sure she's a wonderful person, just not sure I was getting to see that part), but also a lesson again, in how it's not about me. I was looking for that awesome feel good moment where I got to share Jesus and clearly that was not my purpose here. Also a lesson in dying to myself, it would've been so much easier just to keep going and not put that muck covered bike into the back of my car. Everything that God asks us to do isn't going to be fun or easy or pretty. It's not going to wrap up all nicely with a bow on top where you can walk away from it knowing that you made a difference. However, that doesn't make it any less important. I may never know how or if giving that woman a ride impacted her life in any way and that's okay, because God knows.
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