I found it here

I'm always amazed how God can take something that you learned or experienced months ago and just continue to grow on that moment. I think we all have things that we can look back and say, "that is when He started this work in me". Then as you move forward you can see all the things along the way that were all a result of that one moment in time when He showed you that one thing.

If you recall, my blog post about coming home from Costa Rica the one thing I missed the most was that tangible feeling of God's presence in everything. I specifically remember that feeling as we got closer to home just slipping away. By the time we landed in Chicago and stepped off the plane I was literally in tears because it just felt like it was gone. I couldn't feel Him like I did there.

What I have realized is that until Costa Rica, I didn't know I was missing anything. I didn't know that that kind of ever present, reach out and touch, feel it in every fiber of your being kind of relationship with God even existed. I thought that I was doing it right, that my relationship with God was what it was supposed to be and that it was good. I didn't know that it could be, and should be even more.

Once home I began searching for that tangibility here. Where was it hiding? How come I had to search for it so hard here when there it just....was. I became very intentional in my searching, immersing myself in His Word, in Praise and Worship music, prayer; all the things that I had done before Costa Rica, however, now it had a new kind of urgency, a desperation almost. It had gone from, this is what I'm "supposed" to do, to this is what I "want" to do. This is what I cannot exist without, I cannot breath without, I cannot go another minute without. This is what God was talking about when He said to seek Him with ALL my heart and when I do, I will find Him. This IS Costa Rica. This is that tangible God, that one that I can touch and feel and see and taste, and oh, is it glorious and beautiful.

Had God not ever taken me to Costa Rica, I may have never known what it was "supposed" to be like. I may never have known I was missing out on anything. I continue to be grateful for that experience and the knowledge that I need to trust in Him in all things because, man, does He ever know what is best for me.